Small Talk#15-5 Ways to Share Parenting

Together you will rock the baby tasks!

rock baby tasks together

 

Once you and your precious little one have made it home after the hospital, the daily routine can become quite a challenge. Your partner may have to return to work after a week’s paternity leave and that leaves you literally holding the baby on your own, day in and day out. After the numerous nappy changes, feeding, burping you probably will feel as if you are doing all the “baby” duties all on your own. Maybe you will try hinting to your significant other that they should jump in and help you out. But after a tiring day at work, he may feel that you are just nagging…so let’s think about how you can share parenting duties without the stress. There are 5 simple ways to do this.

1: Feelings should be shared

share parenting

When only one parent is taking on everything, resentment starts to rear its ugly little head. You start to think that all that you do for baby is not appreciated and that you are being taken advantage of. This can then lead to other negative feelings such as sadness, loneliness (even though you have a baby in your arms!) and eventually you become really, really angry at your partner. Before you reach boiling point, it would be wise to share how you feel. Instead of shouting in a moment of frustration, “you could change a nappy just ONCE in your life!”, rather share your feelings of being left alone to do everything and how unhappy that makes you feel. Hopefully, your significant other will be encouraged by the abject look on your face and appreciate that you have told him how you are feeling. Maybe this will encourage himto lend more of a helping hand whenever he is available to do so.

2: Honesty

dinnertime sharing

Both of you should make a pact to be totally honest with each other. If you need help with your baby, you shouldn’t have to come up with veiled hints to try to get him to share parenting responsibilities. Being honest means that you don’t have to pretend that you actually enjoy getting up for the night time feed….you can let him know that you would really appreciate him doing those feeds as you have after all, just given birth and are really tired and need SOME time to sleep! Of course, if he has a high-powered job that requires him to have all of his brain cells firing, the night feeds may not be a good thing to share! In this case he could maybe take over bathtime and bedtime routines to give you a little breather! Or he could help you make the dinner.

3: Get down to basics

sharing lists

Sometimes your partner may be thinking that seeing as you are home all day, you have nothing else to do other than to see to your baby – all day AND all night! After all, he is going out to work whilst you are just drifting through the day whilst baby sleeps. To make him see exactly what your day is like, make a list of all that you do. Sit down with him and think about all of the parenting duties there are. After you have listed everything, decide together who has been shouldering most of the weight of each duty. Be honest about who does the most nappy changing, who does the most feeding, the most comforting and anything else you may have on your list. Once done, you will be able to see who has done what and how much each of you are contributing and then you can work out how to distribute the tasks to the satisfaction of both of you.

4: Share the load

bathtime sharing

There is no law that says that each of you has to do a “task” on your own! Sometimes changing a nappy together can be a fun occasion where one of you is doing the changing, the other can be entertaining baby! Or getting pee’d upon (if you have a baby boy!). Try doing things together as a team, whenever your partner is around. Try tackling bathtime, bedtime and dinner time together – you could end up having loads of fun and it will be so good for baby too, to have both parents fussing over him!

5: Gender specific tasks -NO!!!!

gender specific tasks business man

Fairy Tales

Once upon a time there was a fairy tale that divided the world into only gender specific tasks! However, as this myth as slowly dissipated over the passage of time, we now accept that there is no rule that “mom” has to do all the baby work while “dad” sits back, sipping his coffee! Most moms also go out to work in this fast paced world of today, therefore it should be logical that you both take on parenting together so that you can both experience the absolute joy, the sleepless nights, that first smile – together!!! Dads should take part in ALL aspects of parenting and, nowadays, I am happy to say a lot of them take pleasure in doing so!

Parenting is a really important task and to nurture a well-balanced and happy child  should be a joint venture.

What do YOU think? Let me know by dropping me a line at lydia@gofotolifestylenewbornphotography.co.za or commenting in the block below. I’d love to hear from you!

Yours in lifestyle newborn photography

Lydia

 

 

 

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